That question, or various forms of that question have been floating around my head these last few weeks. I’ve noticed that when things start to get difficult or stressful, when I feel hurt or homesick my first thoughts are often centered around just giving up and going home where everything is just a little easier. I become depressed and frustrated quickly and it’s not something I’m especially proud of.
|From Blogger Pictures|
Feelings are neutral, neither right nor wrong, it’s how you process and react to those feelings that matter. I haven’t been reacting well lately and I ask myself ‘where do I find my joy?’ If I’m only feeling happy and content when things are going well, I’m not going to last in Africa for much longer. If I let myself be ruled by my feelings, I can easily miss what God is doing, the bigger picture. If my joy is dependent on my circumstances, I can expect a miserable life.
So I’m on a mission to find my joy. I know it’s not lost, that God is my joy, and I think He’s just waiting for me to fully rest in Him, but the process of coming into a full realization of that is a journey I am learning to take one step at a time.