The Battle for Rest

As I reflect on this past year, I've come to realize that many of my struggles come from exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed. I've found that even after a solid ten hours of sleep, I can wake up feeling more tired than before. It's easy to think of 'resting' as sleeping, watching a movie, or reading a book doing something that takes your mind off of your present circumstances. But this is not rest, this is distraction and distracting yourself doesn't help you process.

When I came home for the Holidays this year, I came with the intention to be deliberate in my rest. I wasn't going to exhaust myself trying to catch up with everyone like I did last year. Last week, I had the chance to go to a friend's cabin for a few days. I left my computer, grabbed my Bible and journal, and together with my dog headed north.

The silence was intimidating at first and I jumped every time the heater made a noise or snow fell from the pine trees outside my window. I had just started to settle in when I received a call telling me that I was missing some important details from my visa application. It sounds dramatic, but I could feel the enemy battling to steal my rest. I struggle with anxiety already, so he chose his weapon well.

I'd like to say I turned to God instantly and that I trusted Him without question, but He stayed with me through the process. The silence was healing and I came home feeling encouraged and renewed. I'll blog later about some of the things he spoke to me about.